The College Clean
April 10, 2011 § Leave a comment
Ahh, the endless battle between a clean house and the natural living state of college students!
It’s a constant effort to keep things from looking like this:
Actually, I’d like to point out that there are bubbles and soap involved–therefore it’s cleaner? No, what really happened is that we ran out of dish detergent, and you should never, EVER use liquid dish soap in a dishwasher. Apparently this lesson didn’t sink in well enough when I tried to do the laundry at age 5…
Obviously, when you’re 5, everything is related to how old you are. You want 5 stickers on your picture, 5 splotches that are supposed to look like people on your fingerpainting, 5 Pomeranians, etc. Therefore, when doing laundry, it makes perfect toddler-sense to use 5 scoops of detergent. Given this logic, I’m not sure why I didn’t conclude that my 40-year-old dad would be using about a box of detergent every time. But in toddler-sense, only toddler ages matter. Anyone over the age of 12 is “old.” Anyway, my parents were having a dinner party downstairs, and the last night I remember is my dad, in his suit, mopping up bubbles that had cascaded all over the laundry room–it was fantastic. Had he not come upstairs for some extra napkins, there would’ve been an utter disaster as the bubbles seeped down from the 3rd floor to the other 2 floors of the house.
Having a laundry room on the top floor of an old house is a funny thing–whenever we have a minor earthquake at home, my mom thinks it’s just the clothes loaded unevenly in the washer.
Anyway, the soap bubbles incident was part of my recent campaign to keep my college house clean (and keeping some things like the recycling in order). It started with friendly reminders, then friendly signs, and then I really felt that I needed to up the ante. So without further ado, I would like to present,
The Missadventures Spring Collection of College Signage!!
1. Stove Maintenance:
(Note that adding a condom-hatted blond girl and a smiling fat man makes most angry messages more digestible to the average viewer.)
(This may be followed by a more intimidating edition if the roommates don’t respect Lemon enough)
3. Reusable Shopping Bags:
(Soon to be available in Stewie Griffin, Dale Gribble and Dwight Schrute editions)
And lastly, my personal favorite,
4. WASH YOUR DISHES
(This one is especially effective for those more stubborn roommates, and/or the ones who only listen to short, finger-waving girls with teased hair.)
Until next week!